The Diary of a Nymphomaniac
The distorted nature of a beast
There's a cult, there's a cult inside of me
Form a salt, sprinkle it around me
There's a cult, there's a cult inside of me
Form a salt, sprinkle it around me
Saltkin~ Purity Ring
The first time I had sex the only thing I was thinking was “finally”! Finally after all the phone calls and buying gifts and being nice, I finally reached the promise land, my girlfriend’s vagina. As I barreled into her panting and sweating, grabbing etc… I never climaxed. We laid there in the backseat of my dad’s 1987 Monte Carlo and realized I liked her way more than I did the sex. Though the sex was great, and finally getting to contribute to my friends conversations was cool, it failed in comparison to looking in her eyes. No make-up, no stress, no one else around her making her feel the need to be pretty or act, just her. The sex served as a gesture that would be performed not out of habitat but more of need. I needed to know she was still attracted to me, and I to her. I wanted to be inside of her as deeply as possible. Hearing her every breath whisper in my ear her love for me as our souls connected in this primitive act of passion. But the flesh failed me on every occasion. The conversations we had penetrated her much more than my cock ever could. And she lived in the moment where her every word or thought would be received, appreciated, restored and kept safe. The thoughts and dreams she had could be more explored by the time we spent together than anything my tongue could caress. As a man I know that now. As a 16-18 year old boy I did not. The flesh wanted what the flesh wanted and I obeyed. But what my heart wanted I could hardly express. The sex doing the talking fell very short of what I felt.
When a person eats food they are obeying their natural animalistic nature to feed the body. When a person needs clothing they go and buy or make or cover themselves with some sort of garment. This is the mind telling the body what to do and the body obeying. According to the Oxford dictionary a beast is a lower animal as distinguished from a human being, an animal under human control or a contemptible person. Louis Farrakhan describes a beast as a person that follows their flesh desires with no regard to person or sprit. The devil or Satan in the bible is regarded as The Beast for his nature to devour all things good and godly, and cause turmoil in the lives of the righteous.
The movie Nymphomaniac is a Not Rated feature. This movie is a depiction of a women who is addicted to sex and how this addiction is riddled throughout her life. In the beginning of the movie she is found in an alley way beaten, bruised and unconscious. She is found by a doctor of some kind, a physician or psychiatrists, but some kind of doctor. As she awakes from her sleep she starts to come to her senses and realized she is in a foreign place. The doctor explains how he found her and told her it is important for the girl to rest. He is taken back by the fact that she did not seemed surprised by this incident, nor does she seemed phased at all by the fact she was beaten in an alley. It is at this moment that she is compelled to discuss her ease in these dealings, and goes on to discuss what has happened. Naomi (the protagonist name) goes on to explain her ventures as to how she became a nympho and its earliest origins.
She discusses an event with her and her closet friends at the age of around ten or maybe older playing a game called “frogs”. Playing frogs they put water all over the floor in a bathroom, and rubbed their vaginas against the bathroom floor. I cannot recall the other girls name at this point but the story then skips to them being teenagers and riding a train. They developed another game only this time it had a few more players. On the train the game was to see how many men they could have sex with while on their way to a particular city and back (they did not stop at any city only just rode the train). They went on to have sex with many men, I believe the score was 5-4 in favor of the friend (let’s just call her sarah). At this point they saw a man in first class dressed professionally, educated, important. The man was holding a flower to give to someone when he got to his destination. The girls saw the man and they were struck by regal stature. This deterred the girls none as to their goal now was to have sex with the gentlemen and win the prize which was a piece of hard candy (the girls now being around 17).
The first to attempt the deed was the friend Sarah then Naomi they both failed but… No it was at this point they declared who ever could fuc… have intercourse with the gentlemen would win. So Naomi in rare foam put her powerful slut magic on him. No, actually she seduced him by asking him a series of questions about the flower and who it was for, his kids, his life etc… After he was greased over she reached for his penis forcibly. Pulled out his erect penis with malice intention and proceeded to give him oral stimulation until he climaxed in her mouth. Sarah and Naomi ruled it as a tie. As the movie continues Naomi has sex with a great many of men all throughout and at all times of the day. I will skip this portion as it constantly occurs throughout the movie. Naomi then partners with Sarah to create a group of women in which their main goal was to have sex with as many men as possible. The only rule in the group was to never have sex with the same guy more than once. After some period of time of the freaks, or promiscuous women continue having sex with countless men, the seemingly small groups grows then shrinks. Until Naomi’s best friend is finally confronted with the fact that she had been sleeping with one man over and over again. During this confrontation Naomi’s friend states that she has found the secret to great sex. Love. After this Naomi is alone and the next scene I will bring up is not the next in the sequence of the movie but is next in the demonstration.
Naomi at this point had men on a set schedule: Monday was Tom, Tuesday was Bob the salesman, noon on Wednesday was Rahim, 7 on Wednesday was Arthur so forth and so on. She discusses how a few men would become more attached than others and want her all to themselves. And also there were some men who would wait outside until their allotted time was at hand. To go up and have their sexual exewith said slu… Naomi. To her credit these gestures were not all grinding and cumming but instead some would talk before or after, about life and goals and wishes and things of that nature. Others would have dinner with her then proceed to bed her. One man only wanted to please her orally and that was all, she confessed with was quite strange. Then the important business man… One day a man would not leave after his time had come and went… I believe it is important to reiterate if not already spoken before, this woman by no means was a prostitute and never got paid for her sexual exploits. Instead she just really liked sex endeavored to get it as much as possible… Actually at one point in the film she states at a sex addiction class she “I love my cunt” as to why she was addicted to sex and why this deed is justified. But I digress.
The man would not leave after his allotted time expired and thus infringing on another man’s go with this lovely creature. The man confessed he loved her, an important business man with a wife and two kids, and he would leave them for her. Naomi decided not tell the man how she felt about him, which was he was just another appointment, but instead to save his feelings to tell him she loved him too much. This tactic though used commonly by men to seduce women to continue an affair with them, or to throw the women off as to why the man does not commit to them has its inevitable pitfalls. Commonly mistaken as a genuine reason the target is supposed to feel whisked off their feet in passion and captivated by the mysteries of their lover. Making the target submit. Instead what can also happen in this cause is for the person to jump… literally out the window… for love… But in this case, lust embodied by a serpent who had no bounds or means to know what was to happen next, but could predict it. The man shows up at Naomi’s home with bags packed and ready to move in. He comes in as if to say honey I’m home. Naomi is thrown back but still she has to play cool as if her dreams just came true. Naomi after getting the man tea and helping him put his coat up, and after she finishes scratching her head in confusion she gets a knock on the door. At door much more to her surprise then before is the man’s wife and as expected his kids…She invites them in (as if she had a choice) and the wife tells the kids to say goodbye to their father and at this moment the man is standing toe to toe with his wife, the whore and the kids and makes no second thought to his decision.
The kids cry “daddy” “daddy” ‘don’t leave us” and the man had no emotion and no passion to leave. The wife screams on her way out, the man stands there, his face as stale as three week old soda. The man eventually leaves and Niaomi has some love affair with her first. I will skip now to the second movie Nyphomaniac part 2. It was at this scene in the movie where I had to cease watching this film. Niaomi had been hired by the FBI and some other agencies for her skill of knowing how to get people to talk (wink, wink). And after this fell through she was picked up to work for some mob boss who needed information. She used her usual tatics of asking a series of sex related questions to a man that was tied and had been beaten for a while. After these questions were no use to her getting any information out of the man then she proceeded to remove the man’s pants and under garment. At this point she lays into him again with a series of sex questions. This somehow told the men she was working for more about the man and how to torture him to extract information. As her questions waned and were no help, she started to explain a sexual encounter with a young child in vivid detail. At this the man became erect. Surprised to hear this the men that were with Niaomi began to cover their mouth in disgust and started to heap abuse on the man. The man began to cry. Niamoi then proceeded to insert the man’s penis in her mouth.
The slow, down trodden voice of love crackles after years of debased and timeless tolerance of a person that is not yourself not your blood. This someone may represent an ideology or a fear of yours manifested in a person in whom all your cares are placed even if only for a season. The reality of life is disappointment. The critical part of life is how much disappointment can one endure before cracking and when broken what do you become. The truth of love is struggle is inherent in that it is impossible to be able to be with someone without friction, compromise and some sense of tolerance. A fearful person is one who runs from these situations and only tolerates someone that is not themselves out of absolutes. Sometimes that doesn’t even happen. The truth of love is also is there is a desire for all of us to be wanted not for what we have, or for who we are but for our natural simple selves. Our pure self-requiring no makeup or jewelry or car or expensive price tag. But rather who we are in the dark of night alone in our beds. I wrote this mainly from disgust. The general idea Naomi actions were justified in some way because they were premised by love. Love of her cunt, or love of sex or love to be loved. Whichever the case it clear that she harbors only a true disdain for self because she neglected the one element of true love… Love of self. When someone loves who they are there is no need for that love to be validated by another. Whether it be the actions of another or the complaints or gifts someone has or their penis or vagina.
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